The end of January is quickly approaching, but there’s still time to sneak in a New Year’s resolution, and I think I’ve finally come to a decision on mine.
Drink more champagne.
I mean that more as a mindset than as a dietary rule.
For Christmas this year, my father-in-law Jack gave me a set of stemware – four champagne bowls and six water goblets. My normal reaction to receiving an odd number set of crystal might have been confusion. We’re not fancy dinnerware people (due to having kids who know how to break stuff), and we barely use the stemware we picked out for our own wedding registry. I realized we didn’t even get them down from the cupboard this Christmas, which is the one occasion we traditionally use them.
But these glasses were special. These were the beautiful Lalique Phalsbourg glasses that my mother-in-law Pamela had chosen for their wedding crystal. Pamela died of ovarian cancer in 2007, and these glasses were some of the last of her very special things to be claimed or distributed.
Jack suggested that maybe I could look at a site like Replacements.com to fill out the set, or maybe they would make a good gift for future Christmases. I checked it out and quickly discovered how special Pamela’s crystal was, and why she had received so few as wedding gifts. At over $200 per glass, my first instinct was to wrap them tightly back in the bubble wrap and put them in a dark cupboard where they wouldn’t be broken.
But that’s not what Pamela would have done. Pamela was the type of person that knew how to appreciate – and use – fine things. She didn’t choose expensive things because they were expensive, but she did enjoy a few beautiful things that made her heart sing, whatever the price. (Just ask Jack.)
She used these Lalique glasses with the bubbly, festive pattern etched into the stems on many occasions that I remember, because she was not a person to whom there was an “unspecial” occasion. Every dinner was a dinner party, and every meal offered something to toast.
I see celebration as a combination of two states of mind: gratitude and joy. Gratitude is the recognition that you’ve been given something special – perhaps something you didn’t deserve. And joy is the choice to let peace and happiness rule your heart rather than fear.
I work in an industry that is extremely unstable and very often driven by fear. Normal jobs last one to three months at a time, promises are broken, and rejection and success sometimes both hit you on the same day. “No’s” come often and “Yesses” – when they come – are drawn out and belabored, or packaged as mixed blessings. It’s hard to know when it’s okay to celebrate.
The Bible says that the enemy of our souls purposes to steal our joy. Stealing joy doesn’t always mean taking away joy you have. Often times we just don’t allow ourselves to feel that joy because of the “what ifs.” What if it isn’t real? What if it falls through? Sometimes joy is stolen by our own inflated expectations. We thought it was going to be huge, but it was only really big. And instead of celebrating really big, we’re disappointed with it. And there goes our joy.
Just last week, my husband and I were told “yes” on an opportunity that we were really excited about. It wasn’t locked in, no contracts were signed, but we decided we were going to celebrate anyway. In times past we would have waited, but we were determined not to let the opportunity pass. We took our kids out for a fun dinner and enjoyed the moment. The next day, the offer was in question, and after a week of anguishing over the outcome, the offer was rescinded.
But that didn’t change the fact that the dinner was really tasty, or that we laughed a lot with our kids. Those are memories that will last. I can’t allow the bad news to steal the joy of those moments away, or make me too fearful to create them. And when the right opportunity comes to replace the one we lost, we’ve upped the ante, so we’re really going to have to celebrate.
We’ll be even more grateful. We’ll be bursting with joy. We’ll celebrate by breaking out Pamela’s glasses for a toast. This year I will resolve to use them often.
Christine Gaither said:
Hmmm…Made her heart sing.
Jack Wright said:
I have a compliment that I reserve for a very few, and on only the rarest of occasions. Your writing is elegant. And I will hold you accountable for using the Lalique. God will sometimes allow the most beautiful people and things to be broken–often irreparably shattered–for His purposes, for His reasons, in His time. So drink from the bowls and stems often and with joy and with fond memories. And if you by accident shatter one or two or all of them, have faith that God has more where those came from–beautiful crystal and beautiful people.
anasfell said:
Wow, I am honored. Thank you, Jack!
David Gyertson said:
What a powerful reflection that applies to each of is in our personal as well as our professional contexts. Your words relate so directly to the challenges of leadership in all of life – work, family, church etc.
Warren Bennis notes that leaders engage in “innovative learning.” While others often feel trapped by their experiences, leaders build on the past to anticipate and to shape future events. According to Bennis, innovative learning involves reflection:
Experiences aren’t truly yours until you think about them, analyze them, examine them, question them, reflect on them, and finally understand them. The point, once again, is to use your experiences rather than being used by them, to be the designer, not the design, so the experiences empower rather than imprison (1989). And I would add to Bennis – based on your reflection – “and celebrate them”!
You model such reflection Andrea and as such are a leader in each area of life where God has placed you. Thanks for letting us “drink deeply” from the “new wine” of your journey. L’Chaim – To LIfe!
References:
Bennis, W. (1989). On Becoming A Leader. Reading: Addison Wesley.
Chris Augustat said:
I loved this so much I shared it with our church staff. Thanks for the reminder 🙂